


Stargazing

by SpiritWorld



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Era, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24876913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiritWorld/pseuds/SpiritWorld
Summary: "'My mother loved the stars," he found himself whispering, regretting the statement as soon as it slipped past his lips. Theman next to him stepped closer, molding their bodies together. Arthur shuttered as Merlin's hands left the small of his back exposing it to the wind once more. For the first time since he had come out to the battlement, he willed himself to tear his eyes away from the sky..."Set after Uther's death in the Wicked Day: Arthur feels the weight of the world closing in on him after the passing of his father. The stars are the one thing that bring him comfort in these turbulant times. Well, the stars and Merlin.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 43
Kudos: 177





	Stargazing

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank you to my wonderful Beta Lauryn for proofreading this and helping me edit. She is amazing and this fic is better because of her. You can find her @eternally--exhausted on Tumblr.

A gentle wind blew across the battlement where Arthur stood atop of the castle. The light of the waning moon cascaded across the kingdom, illuminating the buildings that lay in the lower town. Usually, he found the stillness of the night calming. He used the time before retiring for the night to organize his thoughts and plans for the next day. Tonight, however, it seemed only to mock him as he had tossed about in his bed unable to fall asleep.

It had been two weeks since his coronation. Nearly three since his father had died right before his eyes, mind and body broken completely. Uther’s death weighed heavily on him especially in these quiet hours where he was free to think. He had thrown himself into his duties to avoid having to reminisce about any of it. His eyes were fixated on the cloudless, vast sky before him littered with stars.

“Well, you’re up late,” came an amused voice from behind him. Arthur tensed at the unexpected intrusion, years of training the only thing keeping him from vocally expressing his shock. Upon recognizing the voice, his confusion turned to exasperation.

“How did you know I would be here?” The King asked, not bothering to turn around to face the man.

Arthur could have sworn he _heard_ his servant shrug as if that were at all possible. He could very nearly feel the half-formed smirk that accompanied his next statement. “It’s where you always go when you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset _, Merlin_ ,” Arthur gritted out, hands tightening on top of the half-wall that he had been leaning against. “I came here to think.”

“Arthur-” Merlin started, his footfalls indicating he was stepping forward.

“If you think I’m so upset then you could just leave me be!” Arthur snapped, the words cutting sharply through the stillness of the night. His fingers were now digging harshly into the stone of the battlement, calloused tips the only thing preventing them from being injured. The steady hammering of his heartbeat in his ears drowned out the sound of footsteps shuffling towards him.

A warm, steady hand pressed itself against his back. Arthur stilled at the sudden contact, unclenching his teeth as he instinctively leaned into the touch. The tension building in his shoulders dissipated as his breathing evened out. He kept his eyes locked on the view in front of him, not daring to turn his head to the side.

“It’s cold out tonight,” Merlin whispered after a moment, thumb tracing light patterns against the fabric of Arthur’s nightshirt. The pressure building behind his eyes threatened to overwhelm him. It had become a feeling as familiar as breathing now. He resisted the urge to swipe at them, and instead directed his gaze upwards.

The stars had fascinated him since his youth. The way they shone without fail every night in the vast inky heavens above Camelot, enthralling him. He had often dreamt of walking amongst them, of finding whatever it was that lay beyond them. As distant and shrouded in mystery as they were, unlike many things in his life as of late, the stars were constant. Their loyalties lay with no one, incapable of betrayal or malice. They greeted him at the day's end and were gone again when he opened his eyes to a new day.

"My mother loved the stars," he found himself whispering, regretting the statement as soon as it slipped past his lips. The man next to him stepped closer, molding their bodies together. Arthur shuttered as Merlin's hands left the small of his back exposing it to the wind once more. For the first time since he had come out to the battlement, he willed himself to tear his eyes away from the sky, instead focusing them on the hand that had found its way to his. Merlin pried his fingers away from where they still clung to stone, intertwining them with his.

"Really?" Merlin asked, squeezing his hand tightly. Arthur swallowed around the lump in his throat.

"Father-" The unshed tears began to sting his eyes again as he spoke. He shook his head slowly, willing them away. "Father didn't speak of her often, but he told me once when I was younger that she loved to look at them. She would always tell him that when she passed, she hoped she'd live out the rest of eternity among them." He wondered idly as he flicked his gaze up to the sky again if she had gotten her wish. The image of his mother that Morgause had shown him lingered in his mind. He had, of course, seen official paintings that had been made of her. He'd spent many a night staring at them, wondering what she had been like, what she would think of him were she here. He imagined all the things he would say to her, obsessively rehearsing the lines he’d never get to speak over and over again. Whether the ghost of his mother that the late high priestess had shown him was real or not, he could not forget how her eyes twinkled when she looked at him. It was almost as if she had been born again of stardust.

"My mother loves the stars as well." Merlin's voice startled him out of his thoughts. "She'd always tell me that if I made a wish on my favorite star then it'd come true."

"And, did that work?" Arthur found himself asking, warmth blooming beneath his skin as Merlin laughed softly beside him.

"Not every time, though that may have been my fault. I probably picked a different star every night because I couldn't remember where my favorite one was." Arthur felt his lips involuntarily twitch into a smile, at the thought of a young Merlin trying his hardest to determine which star was indeed the correct star to wish upon.

"If you could, what would you wish for now?" Arthur questioned, turning his head slightly to face him. The quiet smile that had stretched across Merlin's face faltered. He watched as his servant's eyes clouded over in uncertainty, gaze fixed on the houses in the distance. He had been getting that faraway look in his eyes too often these days.

"I'd wish for Camelot to finally know peace. I'd wish for it to be a place of refuge for all people who need it. I'd wish for you to have a long and happy reign as it's king," Merlin finally answered, turning to look at him. Determination raged like a fire in his eyes, his gaze searing Arthur with its intensity.

"Do you really think I'll be the King that Camelot needs?" He asked hesitantly. The thought played out repeatedly at the forefront of his mind in every waking moment. Arthur couldn’t escape it regardless of how hard he worked or how much he attempted to distract himself.

"I know it."

"And how can you be so sure? How can you be so certain that I am what these people need?" His stomach twisted much in the same way it had any time he asked himself these questions.

"Arthur, you will be the greatest King the world has ever seen. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I know it because I know who you are even beneath all that prattish behavior," Merlin replied firmly, eyes not wavering from his for a moment. Arthur nodded numbly at the declaration, willing himself to believe that he deserved any of it. It astonished him every time Merlin spoke of him in this manner. As if there were no other truths more important than this.

"You should try to get some sleep before the sun rises,” Merlin suggested, slipping his hand out of Arthur’s.

"Are you going back to your chambers?" Arthur asked, already missing the way the other man’s body had been pressed against his seconds before. Merlin snorted, eyes sparkling in amusement.

“Well, I was. Though, I could be convinced otherwise,” he mused, cocking his head to the side. Arthur stepped forward to lessen the gap between them again. He raised his hand to cup the back of Merlin’s neck, reveling in the way the man’s eyes fluttered shut when his hand trailed upwards, fingers gliding through his dark hair. He leaned forward slowly, pressing his nose against Merlin’s cheek, lips hovering inches away from his.

“Just kiss me already, you prat,” Merlin huffed impatiently, grabbing him by the waist to pull him in the rest of the way. Arthur obliged, pressing his lips desperately against Merlin’s. He exhaled into the kiss as Merlin’s fingers dug into Arthur’s hips to steady himself. The whimpering sound that escaped Merlin’s throat intoxicated him, heat pooling in his stomach as his teeth grazed over the man’s bottom lip. He tugged lightly at Merlin’s hair, peppering kisses along his jaw, and down the exposed stretch of skin on his neck. The worries that had plagued his tired mind melted away, all his doubts and frustration poured into the kisses he pressed against Merlin’s cool skin.

After a moment, Merlin pulled away reluctantly, pressing a hand against Arthur’s chest. His hair stuck out at odd angles, cheeks burning brightly in the dark as he bit his swollen bottom lip. It was always at times like this that Arthur reflected on how uniquely gorgeous the man before him was. Arthur felt himself drawn forward again, placing another quick kiss against Merlin’s lips. Laughter cut through their mingled breathing, echoing through the still air.

“We should go to your chambers before Leon catches us messing around up here again,” Merlin commented, hands still firmly placed on Arthur’s waist idly thumbing at the hem of his trousers.

“That was one time!” Arthur spluttered, heat rushing to his face. Leon had a talent for ruining the moment. He was convinced the knight had studied the art of it.

“Yes, and who’s fault was that, cornering me in some random corridor in the middle of the day. Honestly, Arthur,” the servant chuckled. Arthur blinked rapidly, trying to eradicate that particular memory from his brain. He still at times found it difficult to look Leon in the eyes.

“I’ve changed my mind,” Arthur declared, prying Merlin’s hands off of him. “You can sleep in your chambers tonight.” Merlin’s whole body shook with laughter, moving to cover his mouth to stop himself from waking up the whole citadel. Arthur rolled his eyes at the display, fighting off the smile pulling at his lips.

“Come on. Let’s get a bit of rest before the sun comes up,” Merlin suggested stepping back into Arthur’s space to press a lazy kiss to his cheek. The exhaustion had crept up on him and he could feel it lingering behind his eyes now. The pressure had migrated to his head where the beginnings of a headache began to bloom. He stole one last glance at the night sky. The stars glimmered on unchanged above them, unaware or uncaring of what was happening below. When he looked back to Merlin, he swore for a second he could see the starlight reflected in his dimly lit eyes.

“I think she would’ve been proud of you,” Merlin said, grabbing ahold of the King’s hand, gently pulling him towards the door. The wind caressed his skin one last time before they stepped back into the castle as if bidding him good night. The knot that had entangled itself so tightly in his chest felt looser now. The weight on his shoulders lighter. The grief remained ever-present, ebbing, and flowing beneath the surface of his skin. It no longer sang at the front of his mind. Breathing came easy now in a way it hadn’t in days. The man he loved believed in him, in what he could be. For the first time since his father’s death, Arthur allowed himself to believe it too.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prompt fill for @rusty-pulley-stars on Tumblr who requested Arthur and Merlin stargazing. You can find me @Meteorjam on Tumblr if you have any fic requests.
> 
> Comments and kudos are really appreciated.


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